


I No Longer Want to Bear the Pain

by flinthasfeels



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Short, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flinthasfeels/pseuds/flinthasfeels
Summary: Eiji gives up enduring the ongoing grief on the 10th anniversary of Ash’s death.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 19





	I No Longer Want to Bear the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Hey here’s a trigger warning!! It’s not explicit but there is an implicit description of suicide so please read with caution and stay safe. Hope you end up enjoying this I cried lol

Ten years.

Ten years since the death of Aslan Jade Callenreese.

An unforgettable death to all. But most of all, a painful one that broke the hearts of many. 

Eiji never seemed to get better, it was as if the pain that entangled Ash for so long transferred to the other. 

He clung to false hope like a life line. The guest bedroom reserved for Ash’s surprise arrival gradually collected dust, and everyday he passed that room, door enclosed, his heart bled all over again. 

After the passing of Ash, it felt as if Eiji’s life revolved around keeping the memories of Ash and his face alive, as desperate and pathetic as it sounded. 

A ‘ _ Welcome to Japan! _ ’ poster resided next to the corner, written in sharpie but clearly so much love was poured into it. His hair was prolonged and entrapped in a loose ponytail, swearing to never cut it again after it had come into contact of the hands of his late soulmate. 

Eiji’s heart never healed. He had to bare the guilt of those he kept close. 

Shorter, his late best friend. It was as if they clicked instantly, personalities went hand in hand and they protected each other. But the word  _ protect  _ held _venom_ , a word that always sent a wave of guilt, making Eiji feel as if he was going to drown. Shorter died protecting him, and that made Eiji want to curl up and never face the world again.

A tear fell from his bottom eyelid, leaving a slight burn as it curved on his cheek. 

Ash, the man he shared so many moments with, decided it was his time, that being gone would benefit to Eiji’s safety and a road to a better life. 

It didn’t. 

And here now laid Eiji, back pressed on his bed as the drugs he overdosed began to drain him. 

His life flashed before his eyes, memories that both held pain and comfort. 

He knew this isn’t what Ash would have wanted. But with never-ending heartache, Eiji knew this is what  he  _personally_ wanted.

He wanted to drift into the afterlife and feel a chest that no longer weighed pain.

His conscious slipped, and he shut his eyes, a saddened smile plastered gently on his face as life melted from his body. 

Laying on his chosen death bed was the most peace he ever felt in the last ten years, drawing further and further away from this body of his. 

And upon his eyes opening again after what felt like hours, a bright light overwhelmed him and voices called his name.

Voices that made his chest light again.

Voices that he found himself to love over a decade ago. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you made it to the end congrats!! Please comment if you ended up liking this and stay safe.
> 
> (Quick note: This Fic in no way means any romanization to suicide)


End file.
